Club Rules
Burning Questions Answered Here
YOUR HANDICAP
You have 2 handicaps - The real one - and the one you tell strangers that you play off. The second of the two can be no more than 7 strokes less than the 1st one
PREFERRED LIE
All preferred lies to be taken within 2 club lengths of where your partner parks the cart.
TREES AND OR LOST BALLS
Hitting a tree is just misfortune, and they have no purpose on a golf course. Should you encounter this - retrieve your ball and place it where you think it should (not would) have landed. Also, no ball is ever lost - someone will find it eventually - therefore, consider it stolen. Place the new ball on a tuft of grass, with no penalty taken.
COUNTING YOUR STROKES
You don't have to count a stroke unless it is observed by more than 1 golfer.
PUTTING
If your putt passes directly over the hole - consider it as "in". If it does a "horseshoe" around the cup - consider it as "in". If the ball stops right at the edge of the hole - consider it as "in"
REMEMBER - THE LAWS OF GOLF OUTWEIGH THE LAWS OF GRAVITY.
With apologies to ParTeeTime.com
ADVICE FOR NEW MEMBERS
You can hit a 100 metre wide fairway 10% of the time - and a 20 millimetre branch 95% of the time.
You can look like a pro just by checking your hands on the backswing. This will indicate - you have 2 and 1 has a glove.
If you want to hit a 7 iron as far as the pros - use it to try to lay up just short of a water hazard.
When trying out a new putter it is important to see how far it can soar through the air when thrown during a temper tantrum.